It's problematic that we have such well-established definitions of sex vs. gender (what's between your legs vs what's between your ears) for individual identity, but not to differentiate orientation and attraction. One can have an orientation that contains both heterosexual and yet homogendered (for lack of better term) attraction. Of course people might debate another layer of definitions, but I think there would be a lot of value in articulating orientation and attraction in a way that is more congruent with how we already think of identity.
I understand it's not perfect, but this isn't just for gender studies majors. This is the equivalent of pop-psych--a way for folks to address their own orientations with basic words that can be refined later. It gives another option to the guy who may one day bash a transgender girl because he thinks she's hot and and he doesn't want to be gay. He may not exactly be grad school material, but he needs something better than the vocabulary that is out there.
Tuesday, October 29, 2013
Sunday, July 28, 2013
"Passing" is a very important concept for trans people who deal with the outside world. That is because many people out there are Neanderthals, who hunted animals with spears, played with fire, and seldom lived past 35. However, if you have advanced to at least Cro-Magnon status, please don't promote that survival strategy where it is unneeded. If you have evolved to where you believe you can see beauty wherever it might be found, then make an effort to see it in trans people regardless of whether they pass or not. It is not such a difficult thing to do, and it is such a welcome and refreshing place to be thought of as beautiful or desirable regardless of this whole concept of passing.
Wednesday, June 5, 2013
Thoughts on the Lambda Awards
I love the idea of the Lambdas. I also love the open bar, the yummy munchies, and the chance to meet so many literary heroes. I like being one of the cool kids--such a weird feeling for a terminal outsider. I love seeing how beautiful my friends look. I love how thrilled we are to win or be nominated--actually there's not much to dislike about everything the Lambda Awards stand for.
However, after attending for the first time, I realized how much it does not stand for, at least for now. It's SO darned old guard white gaylesbian. Where a white gay man can say his generation "invented" transpeople as a joke, and people think it's funny. Where Cherrie Moraga's speech did not energize or validate me, but made me feel the weariness of the load we carry as women of color. I am sorry, sister, but for once, I wanted to be the one sitting down while others got up to applaud. Where it was so clear that we have grown so diverse that no one organization can fully describe (or even perceive) our brilliance.
So I will continue to write and work and promote and write some more. I hope the other festivals and conferences and readings grow, not through established groups like Lambda, but around them, above them, in the spaces between them, to form new organizations and networks, to build stronger voices. I'm proud to have been part of this year's Lambda Awards, but I am even more dedicated to get our brightest voices to that queer kid still afraid of the dark. We have so much work to do.
However, after attending for the first time, I realized how much it does not stand for, at least for now. It's SO darned old guard white gaylesbian. Where a white gay man can say his generation "invented" transpeople as a joke, and people think it's funny. Where Cherrie Moraga's speech did not energize or validate me, but made me feel the weariness of the load we carry as women of color. I am sorry, sister, but for once, I wanted to be the one sitting down while others got up to applaud. Where it was so clear that we have grown so diverse that no one organization can fully describe (or even perceive) our brilliance.
So I will continue to write and work and promote and write some more. I hope the other festivals and conferences and readings grow, not through established groups like Lambda, but around them, above them, in the spaces between them, to form new organizations and networks, to build stronger voices. I'm proud to have been part of this year's Lambda Awards, but I am even more dedicated to get our brightest voices to that queer kid still afraid of the dark. We have so much work to do.
Tuesday, April 2, 2013
The fun part about having almost four decades in the martial arts is having the perspective and know-how to actually codify a school. It's scary as heck, since you are by definition a sort of heretic, but there is also this feeling of continuity, because martial arts have been growing and shifting to meet the needs of its students since forever. Back when I was a young black belt, there was no way I could have predicted I would ever be anything other than a traditionalist. My coaches always called my judo "textbook." In fact, my throws were filmed a few times for educational judo videos. Still, there is no room for me within the traditions I learned. There is no place for a trans female judo player in the existing culture--you can legislate rules, but I know all about what can happen between the lines and behind the scenes.
So I'm going forward. If pursuing martial arts is difficult for me, an ex-national champion and university coach, it must be darned near impossible for a beginner, a queer youth who wants to learn to be strong and fight, but has no guide. So, instead of looking to the people who rejected me, I will dedicate my future teaching and training to those in front of me, who I can help, not in spite of who I am, but exactly because of it.
Thursday, March 7, 2013
In a way, it was good that I severely injured my knee. I never had to worry about pursuing competition career in judo. I was a national champion, was offered a judo scholarship in Japan, and an invitation to train at Colorado Springs. But watching the ugliness leveled against transgender athletes makes me want to vomit. I don't know how "fair" it would be for me to compete against cisgender women--that is not my point.
What bothers me is the hatred. The debasement. I know from experience that high-level competition is very intense. People trash talk, use every advantage they can get. I dished out at least as much as I gave, I am sorry to say. But this is different--this is personal. I remember the crap leveled at Ednanci Silva... OMG... And I look at Fallon Fox right now in MMA, and wish her well. She has two good knees, she's competing, and trailblazing for all of us. But it can't be easy.
For now, my competitive career is over. Do I miss it? Of course! OMG, of course! I can point to my knee, at least, and not my gender, but would I have fought harder in rehab if I knew I had a future?
*shrug*
What bothers me is the hatred. The debasement. I know from experience that high-level competition is very intense. People trash talk, use every advantage they can get. I dished out at least as much as I gave, I am sorry to say. But this is different--this is personal. I remember the crap leveled at Ednanci Silva... OMG... And I look at Fallon Fox right now in MMA, and wish her well. She has two good knees, she's competing, and trailblazing for all of us. But it can't be easy.
For now, my competitive career is over. Do I miss it? Of course! OMG, of course! I can point to my knee, at least, and not my gender, but would I have fought harder in rehab if I knew I had a future?
*shrug*
Friday, February 8, 2013
On Grossness and Reason
I would ask that you be careful not to base your reasoning on appearance, or something "just not being right." As women, or people of color, or queers, we know the kind of ignorance that sort of thinking brings.
Yet, I have seen people do the same thing to support what they think might be more enlightened causes. They look at pictures, of gun shows, or meat packing, or oil drilling and go "Ewww! That's not right!" and usually feel some sort of affirmation--that their gut instinct is somehow correct.
Bullshit.
Prejudice in a red state or a blue state is still prejudice. Knee jerk reactions to provocative photos promote oppression and cultural bullying whether the subject is two men kissing, or a processing plant making luncheon meat. It dehumanizes the opposition and reduces it to an object to ridicule and disgust. Surely, we can do better than this.
There is no such thing as justifiable ignorance. Research and support your claims. Present them respectfully, and honestly consider other viewpoints. Engage in reasoned debate. If your viewpoint is tenable, great--you've maybe taught your world something useful. If not, then you've learned something about your world--which is even better. More likely it's a mixture of the two, and, in any case, you are stronger and wiser for the experience.
People are often surprised when they find out that while so many athletes and intellectuals and lawmakers have hewn careers out of being fiercely competitive, they often feel respect, admiration, and even love for their opposition when the issue or the game or the case or the bout has concluded. This is because worthy opposition helps us all be our best. It cleans up our game; it forces us to adapt and grow. This is one of the true gifts of debate, one of the true gifts of being reasonable human beings, and one that is completely lost if we simply mock our opposition and go "Ew! Gross!"
And perhaps we might even agree one day. We might find ourselves on the same side against a common foe, or we might simply be at peace. What then? I would rather bask in the gifts and strengths and common history we have shared instead of feeling ignorant and ashamed for all those stupid things I said, the hurt I caused, and the time we wasted to insecurity, prejudice, and ignorance.
Yet, I have seen people do the same thing to support what they think might be more enlightened causes. They look at pictures, of gun shows, or meat packing, or oil drilling and go "Ewww! That's not right!" and usually feel some sort of affirmation--that their gut instinct is somehow correct.
Bullshit.
Prejudice in a red state or a blue state is still prejudice. Knee jerk reactions to provocative photos promote oppression and cultural bullying whether the subject is two men kissing, or a processing plant making luncheon meat. It dehumanizes the opposition and reduces it to an object to ridicule and disgust. Surely, we can do better than this.
There is no such thing as justifiable ignorance. Research and support your claims. Present them respectfully, and honestly consider other viewpoints. Engage in reasoned debate. If your viewpoint is tenable, great--you've maybe taught your world something useful. If not, then you've learned something about your world--which is even better. More likely it's a mixture of the two, and, in any case, you are stronger and wiser for the experience.
People are often surprised when they find out that while so many athletes and intellectuals and lawmakers have hewn careers out of being fiercely competitive, they often feel respect, admiration, and even love for their opposition when the issue or the game or the case or the bout has concluded. This is because worthy opposition helps us all be our best. It cleans up our game; it forces us to adapt and grow. This is one of the true gifts of debate, one of the true gifts of being reasonable human beings, and one that is completely lost if we simply mock our opposition and go "Ew! Gross!"
And perhaps we might even agree one day. We might find ourselves on the same side against a common foe, or we might simply be at peace. What then? I would rather bask in the gifts and strengths and common history we have shared instead of feeling ignorant and ashamed for all those stupid things I said, the hurt I caused, and the time we wasted to insecurity, prejudice, and ignorance.
Sunday, January 27, 2013
"My favorite poet was Aeschylus. He once wrote: 'Even in our sleep, pain which cannot forget falls drop by drop upon the heart, until in our own despair, against our will, comes wisdom through the awful grace of God.' What we need in the United States is not division; what we need in the United States is not hatred; what we need in the United States is not violence or lawlessness; but love and wisdom, and compassion toward one another, and a feeling of justice toward those who still suffer within our country, whether they be white or they be black... Let us dedicate ourselves to what the Greeks wrote so many years ago: to tame the savageness of man and make gentle the life of this world."
--Robert Kennedy, upon hearing of the assassination of Martin Luther King, Jr.
--Robert Kennedy, upon hearing of the assassination of Martin Luther King, Jr.
Wednesday, August 29, 2012
Friends don't let friends vote Republican this year.
If you're a fiscal conservative, great. If you think private enterprise is the most efficient way to get something done, great. If you think part of keeping the US strong is investing in the military, great. We can have these discussions, and more, later on. But you don't want to vote for these guys. They'll take your ideals and debase them with
racism, sexism, and jingoism. Worst of all, even those sentiments are just being used to make money for banking and business interests. You know this. So do I. But you can fight this. Find a place for your own conservatism. Claim the term, own it, the way our community did with queer. Go grassroots. Fight. Build coalitions, publish zines. Make your beliefs matter. We need dissent and argument, but between well-informed and vested members of the community. You have four years until the next cycle. And you know, in your heart of hearts, President Obama will not make us a Communist state or sell it to the Muslims. The country will be waiting in 2016. Clean your party or start a new one. Organize! Find your voice and strength. We can argue and debate then. And may the best visions for the country help all of us.
Tuesday, April 24, 2012
Fuddy duddiness
Maybe I am a fuddy duddy. Maybe I'm a workaholic. Maybe I'm a spoilsport, a killer of dreams, a wet blanket. Maybe I need to go to Disneyland again. But I have to say it.
Most of us will never become movie stars. Even here in Hollywood, most of us will not be discovered by a director, or a music producer. A very few of us might. But not really too likely. We may start in this queer film or that queer film, but are you really expecting to parlay that into major studio success?
Nobody is going to become wealthy and secure by lip synching Lady Gaga, no matter how well. We already have someone who does this. She is called Lady Gaga and, from what I can tell, she performs her own stuff.
Besides, I know people who have succeeded in these businesses. You may know some, too. Most of them are fanatics. They put everything into their art--it's not all glamour--it's a lot of effort and most of it is unnoticed and misunderstood.
I worry about selling such dreams to our queer youth. We are stars and special, and amazing, yes--but to present the dream of success in a field that has destroyed so many--a field where being out is still a career killer--where people are paying their dues night after night without ever being in front of a camera. Are we really doing queer youth a service by saying you can be a star by just coming to our programs and being the fabulous you?
Everyone is fabulous, but that is both a great thing and a problem. Being fabulous is not enough. It takes luck and powerful friends and connections and often being monomaniacal to the point of insanity about your craft. It is not about being too cool for school. It is LIVING at school. Oh, and you can't just be fabulous--you have to be brilliant...gifted. Do you have any idea how GOOD some of these performers are?
When I ask an LGBT youth of color "What do you want to be?" and they reply with Madonna or Gaga or West or Minaj or whateverever, part of me breaks inside. Somewhere, somehow "achievement" has been conflated with "fantasy." If you want to be an actor, great. A musician, great--but do you have the will to practice your craft and get better at it? Day in night in? As in not seeing your friends because you have to practice? As in having door after door shut in your face? As in dealing with all the cruelty the entertainment industry can throw at you?
Some people will say yes, and for them--go for it! But know what you are in for. You are going to be a trailblazer and the odds are that you will fail. If you have it in you, you won't care. In fact, you're probably too busy working to be reading this now.
But for those who want to be a star for the image, the identity, the fun... For those who won't give up partying now--it's just not going to work. And even if it did, chances are, you'd be too fucked up to enjoy it.
I wish we wouldn't present stardom as the end point. I wish we would push continually reaching for excellence. I wish we would talk about working hard for something and getting closer each day. I wish we valued glitter less and determination more. I wish it would be less about building self esteem and more about building literacy. Less about being gorgeous for the cameras and more about improving living conditions.
Most of all, I wish we could present other options to our youth. A queer youth in LA has a greater chance of becoming a doctor, a lawyer, a teacher, a police officer, a restauranteur, a nurse, a CPA... than becoming the next media darling. This sort of excellence does not require luck nor knowing the right people, nor cameras nor glitter.
All it requires is a certain faith...a faith that you will be here tomorrow, and the day after. That if you work hard, you not only can...you will get better. That better means more opportunities and pride for yourself. That is what I wish we would present. That we'd work to help give our youth a faith in their tomorrows, and an accountability to their futures. Flash and glitter fades. Skills, knowledge and wisdom take you forward. Our youth are beautiful, yes... But we can help them be more than that. We can start them on the paths to being wise. We can help them believe that they can grow older, more fulfilled and grateful for every day ahead, that life is not something to burst in a dream, but something that can be nurtured, loved, and raised into ever more meaningful, beautiful and rewarding tomorrows.
Most of us will never become movie stars. Even here in Hollywood, most of us will not be discovered by a director, or a music producer. A very few of us might. But not really too likely. We may start in this queer film or that queer film, but are you really expecting to parlay that into major studio success?
Nobody is going to become wealthy and secure by lip synching Lady Gaga, no matter how well. We already have someone who does this. She is called Lady Gaga and, from what I can tell, she performs her own stuff.
Besides, I know people who have succeeded in these businesses. You may know some, too. Most of them are fanatics. They put everything into their art--it's not all glamour--it's a lot of effort and most of it is unnoticed and misunderstood.
I worry about selling such dreams to our queer youth. We are stars and special, and amazing, yes--but to present the dream of success in a field that has destroyed so many--a field where being out is still a career killer--where people are paying their dues night after night without ever being in front of a camera. Are we really doing queer youth a service by saying you can be a star by just coming to our programs and being the fabulous you?
Everyone is fabulous, but that is both a great thing and a problem. Being fabulous is not enough. It takes luck and powerful friends and connections and often being monomaniacal to the point of insanity about your craft. It is not about being too cool for school. It is LIVING at school. Oh, and you can't just be fabulous--you have to be brilliant...gifted. Do you have any idea how GOOD some of these performers are?
When I ask an LGBT youth of color "What do you want to be?" and they reply with Madonna or Gaga or West or Minaj or whateverever, part of me breaks inside. Somewhere, somehow "achievement" has been conflated with "fantasy." If you want to be an actor, great. A musician, great--but do you have the will to practice your craft and get better at it? Day in night in? As in not seeing your friends because you have to practice? As in having door after door shut in your face? As in dealing with all the cruelty the entertainment industry can throw at you?
Some people will say yes, and for them--go for it! But know what you are in for. You are going to be a trailblazer and the odds are that you will fail. If you have it in you, you won't care. In fact, you're probably too busy working to be reading this now.
But for those who want to be a star for the image, the identity, the fun... For those who won't give up partying now--it's just not going to work. And even if it did, chances are, you'd be too fucked up to enjoy it.
I wish we wouldn't present stardom as the end point. I wish we would push continually reaching for excellence. I wish we would talk about working hard for something and getting closer each day. I wish we valued glitter less and determination more. I wish it would be less about building self esteem and more about building literacy. Less about being gorgeous for the cameras and more about improving living conditions.
Most of all, I wish we could present other options to our youth. A queer youth in LA has a greater chance of becoming a doctor, a lawyer, a teacher, a police officer, a restauranteur, a nurse, a CPA... than becoming the next media darling. This sort of excellence does not require luck nor knowing the right people, nor cameras nor glitter.
All it requires is a certain faith...a faith that you will be here tomorrow, and the day after. That if you work hard, you not only can...you will get better. That better means more opportunities and pride for yourself. That is what I wish we would present. That we'd work to help give our youth a faith in their tomorrows, and an accountability to their futures. Flash and glitter fades. Skills, knowledge and wisdom take you forward. Our youth are beautiful, yes... But we can help them be more than that. We can start them on the paths to being wise. We can help them believe that they can grow older, more fulfilled and grateful for every day ahead, that life is not something to burst in a dream, but something that can be nurtured, loved, and raised into ever more meaningful, beautiful and rewarding tomorrows.
Tuesday, April 10, 2012
Who Watches the Watchers?
??
I don't know...
Probably the same people who electrify the electricians, beautify the beauticians, surge the surgeons, dent the dentists, dog walk the dog walkers, and plumb the plumbers.
I don't know...
Probably the same people who electrify the electricians, beautify the beauticians, surge the surgeons, dent the dentists, dog walk the dog walkers, and plumb the plumbers.
Tuesday, March 6, 2012
A note to a friend on "Tranny"
Hey L--!
I remember I was going to send you my thoughts on "tranny." This is one of those words that depends so much on context. I believe that humanizing, inclusive language is a good thing, and dehumanizing, othering language is a bad thing. When I say "tranny" to my friend Jamez, who is out as trans, it is because we both share many of the same experiences and struggle. It is a tacit acknowledgment of all we have in common. I think that is fine. When a snotty cisgendered person uses "tranny" as a slur, it is an othering tactic, and instead of referring to our similarities, it emphasizes my differences with the communuity (and, consequently, places my heatlh, dignity, and safety at risk). Not kewl.
When a cis gendered loved one uses tranny, or trans artist refers to hirself as a tranny, these are gray areas. I have actually gently asked my girlfriend to keep from using that word with me, because I want to submerge myself in the ways in which we are similar, not different. And, of course, a trans artist who uses "tranny" as part of hir message or medium, should have every right to do so. However, I cringe when I see "tranny" performances become exploitative.
In the end , uses of "tranny" that build and affirm and nurture seem fine, while those that separate, isolate, and dehumanize are not.
I hope that helps.
*hug*
Ryka
I remember I was going to send you my thoughts on "tranny." This is one of those words that depends so much on context. I believe that humanizing, inclusive language is a good thing, and dehumanizing, othering language is a bad thing. When I say "tranny" to my friend Jamez, who is out as trans, it is because we both share many of the same experiences and struggle. It is a tacit acknowledgment of all we have in common. I think that is fine. When a snotty cisgendered person uses "tranny" as a slur, it is an othering tactic, and instead of referring to our similarities, it emphasizes my differences with the communuity (and, consequently, places my heatlh, dignity, and safety at risk). Not kewl.
When a cis gendered loved one uses tranny, or trans artist refers to hirself as a tranny, these are gray areas. I have actually gently asked my girlfriend to keep from using that word with me, because I want to submerge myself in the ways in which we are similar, not different. And, of course, a trans artist who uses "tranny" as part of hir message or medium, should have every right to do so. However, I cringe when I see "tranny" performances become exploitative.
In the end , uses of "tranny" that build and affirm and nurture seem fine, while those that separate, isolate, and dehumanize are not.
I hope that helps.
*hug*
Ryka
If I had a lot of money and/or influence as a LGBT Poohbah.
If I were some sort of mover/shaker in the LGBT community, right now I would send help and supplies and whatever else was needed to those people in the Midwest and South devastated by the tornadoes. I would clearly indicate we came from the LGBT group I was poohbah of, but then just get to work helping people.
We try to build bridges to others when we need them, but the best way to change hearts is to be there when they need us. Besides, it would simply be the decent thing to do.
We try to build bridges to others when we need them, but the best way to change hearts is to be there when they need us. Besides, it would simply be the decent thing to do.
A Quick Note on Rush Limbaugh and Fresh Flowers
From "More Limbaugh advertisers jump ship" at CNN.com:
"ProFlowers, an online flower delivery service, said in a Facebook posting Sunday Limbaugh's comments were at odds with their corporate image.
'At ProFlowers, our mission is to delight our customers with fresh and long lasting flowers, and that is our singular focus each and every day,' the statement read."
I wonder how the Limbaugh show could have EVER been consistent with ProFlowers' mission. Caveat emptor applies to advertisers as well. You should be careful of where you throw your advertising dollars. Your oversight, carelessness, or flat out greed helped fund and propagate this show. Find shows where listeners might truly be "delighted" with giving and receiving fresh flowers. They are out there. Some of them are even women, some are even queer and our money is just as green as any Rush listener's.
Come on, ProFlowers. Support AIDS walk. Donate to a feminist bookstore. Give a big chunk o' cash to the Special Olympics. Go for it. We could all use a few more flowers. ;)
"ProFlowers, an online flower delivery service, said in a Facebook posting Sunday Limbaugh's comments were at odds with their corporate image.
'At ProFlowers, our mission is to delight our customers with fresh and long lasting flowers, and that is our singular focus each and every day,' the statement read."
I wonder how the Limbaugh show could have EVER been consistent with ProFlowers' mission. Caveat emptor applies to advertisers as well. You should be careful of where you throw your advertising dollars. Your oversight, carelessness, or flat out greed helped fund and propagate this show. Find shows where listeners might truly be "delighted" with giving and receiving fresh flowers. They are out there. Some of them are even women, some are even queer and our money is just as green as any Rush listener's.
Come on, ProFlowers. Support AIDS walk. Donate to a feminist bookstore. Give a big chunk o' cash to the Special Olympics. Go for it. We could all use a few more flowers. ;)
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
Just a Thought on Chaz Bono DWTS
Yahoo usually has terrible reader comments, but this one on Chaz Bono is really great:
"The "tolerant" people amuse me. I notice that they feel like we should be "tolerant" towards Chaz as regards his choice to change gender, but the call for tolerance ends when Chaz's weight is discussed. In other words, his being transgendered is off limits, but his being fat is fair game!"
Living day-to-day being fat or or short or in a wheel chair, or having acne, as well as being queer or trans or a person of color should make us more determined to stamp out prejudice everywhere. In an ideal world, we might. But the world isn't ideal. We still fear for our safety somewhere down in the lower levels of Maslow's hierarchy of needs. Not blending in is dangerous, and when we don't fit in one way, we sometimes do our best to fit in with others.
Joining with the mob gives us safety for the moment, but makes us hypocrites. However, it takes courage for someone who has been bullied to call out bullies. The fear, and danger, is real.
What to do? We can't be that one brave person all the time in every situation.
When we are not, I hope we can use the experience to better understand those who hold back when we are the targets. They might be struggling and afraid as well, and as hard as this is, we should forgive them, just a little bit, just as they might forgive us in turn.
And in those times where we must be brave, I hope that we are all somewhat equal to the task.
"The "tolerant" people amuse me. I notice that they feel like we should be "tolerant" towards Chaz as regards his choice to change gender, but the call for tolerance ends when Chaz's weight is discussed. In other words, his being transgendered is off limits, but his being fat is fair game!"
Living day-to-day being fat or or short or in a wheel chair, or having acne, as well as being queer or trans or a person of color should make us more determined to stamp out prejudice everywhere. In an ideal world, we might. But the world isn't ideal. We still fear for our safety somewhere down in the lower levels of Maslow's hierarchy of needs. Not blending in is dangerous, and when we don't fit in one way, we sometimes do our best to fit in with others.
Joining with the mob gives us safety for the moment, but makes us hypocrites. However, it takes courage for someone who has been bullied to call out bullies. The fear, and danger, is real.
What to do? We can't be that one brave person all the time in every situation.
When we are not, I hope we can use the experience to better understand those who hold back when we are the targets. They might be struggling and afraid as well, and as hard as this is, we should forgive them, just a little bit, just as they might forgive us in turn.
And in those times where we must be brave, I hope that we are all somewhat equal to the task.
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
The Adventures of Science Dog and Chemistry Cat
It was a rough day in Bowserville. Traffic was really bad, and the pizzas were cold. Tempers were short, and there was a distinct feeling in the air that something very bad might happen if things didn’t get better fast.
Now, Bowserville, you have to understand, was a town that loved its pizza. Mayor Grigs Duquesne, in fact campaigned on a platform saying that, “a vote for her was a vote for extra cheese.” But now, Mayor Duquesne was desperate.
“My God, Man! The traffic is bad and the pizzas are cold!” Mayor Duquesne cried.
“Well, is this one related problem, or two separate ones?” asked her deputy mayor, Cruz Bustamante. Cruz was completely unrelated to Cruz Bustamante, the former Lieutenant Governor of California, but resembled him in some ways. Though not in others.
“My God, Man! How can you be so dispassionate when our town is in trouble?” Mayor Duquesne cried.
Suddenly the phone rang. “HAHAHAHAA! Hey Grigs! This is your nemesis speaking. I am calling to tell you that unless you pay me $2 million by the noon tomorrow, the traffic will be completely snarled. I will bombard your town with road construction vehicles and orange cones. I will have unruly families crossing the streets at yellow and red lights. I will make every beat-up Chevy truck drive lose the mattress that is loosely tied in its bed, and flood the streets with Lexus and Volvo drivers who come to a complete stop before making a right turn on a green light. HAHAHAHAA!”
“My God, Man! What about the pizza?” Mayor Duquesne cried.
The voice on the other end faltered… “W-what do you mean about the pizza?”
“Didn’t you know? The pizza is getting cold. We ordered a pizza and it was cold—and it happened again.”
“O-oh no… um—I’ll see what I can do—“ the voice hung up.
Suddenly, all the traffic lights in the city turned green.
Then there was a huge crash.
The phone rang.
“S-sorry!” said the voice at the other end.
* * * * *
“Hrpmph, why do I even read the paper anymore!” growled Science Dog, over her cup of chai tea.
“What’s wrong, Science Dog?” asked her friend, Chemistry Cat.
“I hate when statistics are misused. I’m reading that in Bowserville the temperature of pizza has gotten progressively colder. They say that if the trend continues, the pizza will reach absolute zero in just six months.”
“That’s pretty cold pizza.”
“The coldest pizza there is,” snorted Science Dog. “But as you know, nothing reaches absolute zero. In fact, I can’t see their pizza falling below the ambient air temperature.”
“Well, thermodynamics is thermodynamics,” agreed Chemistry Cat.
Now, Bowserville, you have to understand, was a town that loved its pizza. Mayor Grigs Duquesne, in fact campaigned on a platform saying that, “a vote for her was a vote for extra cheese.” But now, Mayor Duquesne was desperate.
“My God, Man! The traffic is bad and the pizzas are cold!” Mayor Duquesne cried.
“Well, is this one related problem, or two separate ones?” asked her deputy mayor, Cruz Bustamante. Cruz was completely unrelated to Cruz Bustamante, the former Lieutenant Governor of California, but resembled him in some ways. Though not in others.
“My God, Man! How can you be so dispassionate when our town is in trouble?” Mayor Duquesne cried.
Suddenly the phone rang. “HAHAHAHAA! Hey Grigs! This is your nemesis speaking. I am calling to tell you that unless you pay me $2 million by the noon tomorrow, the traffic will be completely snarled. I will bombard your town with road construction vehicles and orange cones. I will have unruly families crossing the streets at yellow and red lights. I will make every beat-up Chevy truck drive lose the mattress that is loosely tied in its bed, and flood the streets with Lexus and Volvo drivers who come to a complete stop before making a right turn on a green light. HAHAHAHAA!”
“My God, Man! What about the pizza?” Mayor Duquesne cried.
The voice on the other end faltered… “W-what do you mean about the pizza?”
“Didn’t you know? The pizza is getting cold. We ordered a pizza and it was cold—and it happened again.”
“O-oh no… um—I’ll see what I can do—“ the voice hung up.
Suddenly, all the traffic lights in the city turned green.
Then there was a huge crash.
The phone rang.
“S-sorry!” said the voice at the other end.
* * * * *
“Hrpmph, why do I even read the paper anymore!” growled Science Dog, over her cup of chai tea.
“What’s wrong, Science Dog?” asked her friend, Chemistry Cat.
“I hate when statistics are misused. I’m reading that in Bowserville the temperature of pizza has gotten progressively colder. They say that if the trend continues, the pizza will reach absolute zero in just six months.”
“That’s pretty cold pizza.”
“The coldest pizza there is,” snorted Science Dog. “But as you know, nothing reaches absolute zero. In fact, I can’t see their pizza falling below the ambient air temperature.”
“Well, thermodynamics is thermodynamics,” agreed Chemistry Cat.
After a night with Rogaine in your Vaseline and your wiener looks like a hippie Herve Villechaize bonged out at a Grateful Dead concert. You shout hey look, there’s a plane, a plane, but he’s just lying there limp and stoned and he’s not getting up to point anywhere and you can just go fuck yourself, but that’s what got you here in the first place.
Thursday, May 26, 2011
And now....
Notice Lutz is the same guy from 2006?
Lutz: After restructuring, GM 'in good hands'
Alisa Priddle/ The Detroit News
Dearborn — The new culture of excellence at General Motors Co. today is self-sustaining, said Bob Lutz, the former vice chairman of the automaker who continues to serve as a consultant.
GM has restructured since its bankruptcy two years ago and has seen a series of management changes at the top. But Lutz, who spoke at the Ward's Auto Interiors Conference here today, said having outsiders as chief executive and chief financial officer means management has "no history of running the auto industry in the U.S. the wrong way."
"I think the company is in good hands," said Lutz, who has a book on his GM experience coming out next month.
Previous members of the management team "thought they were working on the right things," Lutz said, but unfortunately, they were not.
But he begrudgingly agreed with the decision to kill four of GM's eight brands as part of the government-ordered restructuring.
The Hummer brand had to go: "It was the environmental anti-Christ."
From The Detroit News: http://detnews.com/article/20110517/AUTO01/105170443/Lutz--After-restructuring--GM--in-good-hands-#ixzz1NVnspedl
Lutz: After restructuring, GM 'in good hands'
Alisa Priddle/ The Detroit News
Dearborn — The new culture of excellence at General Motors Co. today is self-sustaining, said Bob Lutz, the former vice chairman of the automaker who continues to serve as a consultant.
GM has restructured since its bankruptcy two years ago and has seen a series of management changes at the top. But Lutz, who spoke at the Ward's Auto Interiors Conference here today, said having outsiders as chief executive and chief financial officer means management has "no history of running the auto industry in the U.S. the wrong way."
"I think the company is in good hands," said Lutz, who has a book on his GM experience coming out next month.
Previous members of the management team "thought they were working on the right things," Lutz said, but unfortunately, they were not.
But he begrudgingly agreed with the decision to kill four of GM's eight brands as part of the government-ordered restructuring.
The Hummer brand had to go: "It was the environmental anti-Christ."
From The Detroit News: http://detnews.com/article/20110517/AUTO01/105170443/Lutz--After-restructuring--GM--in-good-hands-#ixzz1NVnspedl
Ah Memories....
Remember this?
GM exec: We need more new Hummers
September 28 2006: 5:39 PM EDT
Paris (Reuters) -- General Motors Corp.'s Hummer brand needs to double its product lineup by adding two or three more models, the executive charged with GM's product planning told reporters on Wednesday.
"Hummer needs some more products. It needs two or three more products to give it sufficient market coverage," General Motors Vice Chairman Bob Lutz told reporters at the opening of a Hummer dealership in Paris.
Lutz said making a Hummer-branded pickup truck, which would have ample passenger seating, remained an "option."
Earlier this year GM (Charts) faced pressure from activist investor Kirk Kerkorian to consider spinning off Hummer, which began as a high-mobility vehicle produced for the U.S. military.
But GM executives have argued that the brand is central to the automaker's strategy as it moves to cut costs, shore up market share and return to profitability in the U.S. market.
Sales of Hummer were up almost 50 percent in the first eight months of this year. By contrast, GM's overall sales were down 12 percent.
Hummer currently has three models: the H2, H2 SUT and H3. GM announced earlier this year it is stopping production of the original H1 Hummer, which was larger than the full-size H2.
The H2 SUT has short pickup-style truck bed.
The H3, which is built on GM's midsize pickup truck platform, accounts for about three-quarters of the brand's current sales. It is similar in size to a Nissan Pathfinder or Toyota 4Runner and is powered by a 5-cylinder engine.
GM executives have said previously that a smaller vehicle, similar in size to a Jeep Wrangler, is also being considered for the brand.
Hummer, which GM bought in 1999, has acquired both fervent fans like California Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger and outspoken critics, who see the brand's heavy SUVs as a symbol of American consumer excess and dependence on foreign oil.
Find this article at:
http://money.cnn.com/2006/09/28/news/companies/gm_hummer/index.htm
GM exec: We need more new Hummers
September 28 2006: 5:39 PM EDT
Paris (Reuters) -- General Motors Corp.'s Hummer brand needs to double its product lineup by adding two or three more models, the executive charged with GM's product planning told reporters on Wednesday.
"Hummer needs some more products. It needs two or three more products to give it sufficient market coverage," General Motors Vice Chairman Bob Lutz told reporters at the opening of a Hummer dealership in Paris.
Lutz said making a Hummer-branded pickup truck, which would have ample passenger seating, remained an "option."
Earlier this year GM (Charts) faced pressure from activist investor Kirk Kerkorian to consider spinning off Hummer, which began as a high-mobility vehicle produced for the U.S. military.
But GM executives have argued that the brand is central to the automaker's strategy as it moves to cut costs, shore up market share and return to profitability in the U.S. market.
Sales of Hummer were up almost 50 percent in the first eight months of this year. By contrast, GM's overall sales were down 12 percent.
Hummer currently has three models: the H2, H2 SUT and H3. GM announced earlier this year it is stopping production of the original H1 Hummer, which was larger than the full-size H2.
The H2 SUT has short pickup-style truck bed.
The H3, which is built on GM's midsize pickup truck platform, accounts for about three-quarters of the brand's current sales. It is similar in size to a Nissan Pathfinder or Toyota 4Runner and is powered by a 5-cylinder engine.
GM executives have said previously that a smaller vehicle, similar in size to a Jeep Wrangler, is also being considered for the brand.
Hummer, which GM bought in 1999, has acquired both fervent fans like California Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger and outspoken critics, who see the brand's heavy SUVs as a symbol of American consumer excess and dependence on foreign oil.
Find this article at:
http://money.cnn.com/2006/09/28/news/companies/gm_hummer/index.htm
Friday, April 8, 2011
As Japan Rises Again
I have been listening to people asking if Japan will come back from these recent disasters. Short answer: Yes. The industrial complex is largely untouched; areas of industry are largely spared, and Japan does most of its business overseas now, anyway.
The more pressing question is HOW Japan comes back. Somehow, somewhere, someone or some party will find the secret sauce to marshall the Japanese people, tap into their pride and identities as Japanese and use this unity to rebuild. If this message stresses building coalitions with other nations and taking pride as a model member of the international community, wonderful. We should foster this, all of us, with messages and gestures of genuine support.
If, however, the unifying message contains isolationist elements, or how Japan has lost its prestige, and has become somehow weaker, then Japan might become more nationalistic and militaristic. If messages from neighboring nations are threatening or bullying, this type of message will become more and more appealing. Most of us can't remember such a Japan, but no one should underestimate how such a development would destabilize the region.
As Japan rebuilds, we should think about what we would place in its new foundation. Do we place fear and betrayal and calls to arms? Or do we place reassurance, and community and, above all, trust?
Sunday, April 3, 2011
QPOC Conference UC Riverside: Ryka Aoki To Join La Maricolectiva at Opening Perf...
QPOC Conference UC Riverside: Ryka Aoki To Join La Maricolectiva at Opening Perf...: "Ryka Aoki will share her spoken word talents at the opening performance of the Queer People of Color Conference at UC Riverside, April 8-10,..."
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